everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
