She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
