I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
