Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
