frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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