Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
