I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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