This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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