she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
