I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
