can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
