Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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