You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
