i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
two words: eviction party
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
