Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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