Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
