If i come over, it means nothing
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
