If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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