woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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