her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
