haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
