You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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