that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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