I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
