Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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