i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i have two assholes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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