Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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