ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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