you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
