We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
