First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she looked like the before picture.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
