Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
