Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
