i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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