obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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