By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
