I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
