She's JV to your varsity
I feel great
I just peed on a car
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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