i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is Oprah even human
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
false alarm, still single
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
