No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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