If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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