I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
