we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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