Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
