Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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