Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
