his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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