Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
