Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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