WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
